St. Anthony’s Prayer, Movement III of Trois Prieres: A Composer’s Journal Entries December 11-13, 2006
Monday, December 11
The piano still unplayed, still waiting for me. My old sketches covered with dust. Two ivories came off since I last played my beautiful Steinway, I need to glue them back on. The piano sad & neglected, while I struggle to get back on my feet physically.
I ran out of Visions CDs but was too flattened to order more. M. finally said: “If you do only one thing tomorrow, order more Visions CDs”. Called the company today: they will ship out December 26th & arrive just after New Year’s. The woman laughed & said: “Just in time to miss the Holiday Season.” Of course.
Tuesday, December 12
I have been thinking about the last movement of the piece for choir and orchestra: Trois Prieres. Fleetingly... Almost visually ... Trying to find the frame for all else to rest on.
Wednesday, December 13
Unusually warm for mid-December. Some stray spring bulbs sprouting, confused by the weather. If I have more strength tomorrow I will plant tulip bulbs I never got to earlier, in the fall.
Tied up the branches to the climbing roses today, with Suzanne’s help. I have missed the gardens so ... Asked Christina and Marcus to put leaves around the roses.
Thought more about Movement III today. The form is beginning to clarify itself. I had initially thought Mt. III to be more ethereal, the Holy Spirit Itself being ethereal. But St. Anthony’s prayer is so very personal & heartfelt. Now I wonder if Mt. III should not be more sad, profound. Deep in the heart, rather than the soul and the sacred Wind & Light. The Come Holy Spirit prayer could be more a cry, a human cry, a cry for hope, of hope. A vast, deep personal yearning, born of the despairs and sufferings of earth. All voices on those simple words of invocation, in the strength of shared belief & shared trust, a cry of supplication.
Tonight, for the first time, I am hearing the music inwardly. Snatches. The choir parts, pitches. I am hearing them in my Heart & also seeing them on the page, on the manuscript paper - the pages covered with notes. Timpani.
I am too weak to write them down, they will be lost to me. But they will reappear, later, when the time is right. If not those notes, then others. It has been so long since I wrote Movement II that I can no longer remember even how it begins or ends. Tomorrow I will look at the score, if I can find it.
The IIIrd movement, at least this short phrase of text (Come Holy Spirit, renew the face of the earth), will be slow, almost like a Requiem. Nothing like what I had earlier imagined - perhaps because life has intervened, so many months of struggle & facing death. This textual and musical phrase will begin & end the movement, & will also reappear throughout - it will establish one level or layer of the music.
St. Anthony’s Prayer will be different, lines sweeping, overlapping, moving & interweaving - and now I can almost hear the music. Almost. If the spiritual Heart were a room, then I would say the Door was ajar - but not yet opened enough to clearly hear the music within it, save for a line here & there. But the music is there, waiting to unfold. This prayer by St. Anthony will establish another layer, level, of the music. The relationship between the two prayers will be somewhat antiphonal - just as the choir and the orchestra will be contrasting in this movement. The more universal text of the Come Holy Spirit prayer will also respond to and contrast with the more personal text of St. Anthony. Levels and layers, structures - the frame.
As for the individual notes: it is more a matter of being able to sit down at the piano and then write down the pitches. Just as I can write in my notebooks, but then cannot yet find the strength to type these entries into the computer.
Saint Anthony’s Prayer
For Help of the Holy Spirit
O God, send forth your
Holy Spirit upon me;
guide all my thoughts and
actions so that my whole life
will be pleasing to You;
be with me in times of trial;
stay close to me when I am
weak in body and soul;
give me the strength, courage
and grace to do Your Holy Will
in all things; never let me
be separated from You
in thought, word or deed.
Amen