A Mystic’s Journal Entries September 15- 16, 2005

Journal entries about clairvoyance, meditation, spirituality, and mystical experiences

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A Mystic’s Journal Entries September 15- 16, 2005

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A Mystic’s Journal Entries September 15- 16, 2005
St. Bonaventure: Meditation Class

Meditation and the Spiritual Heart: The Mind’s Journey to God

Thursday, September 15

Chris & Sarah dropped by today, while I was working in the gardens. Planting asters. I was aware of the deep fragrance of myrrh, twice after their visit. The presence of Our Lady ...

A new meditation student. As preparation, I asked him to think on these two statements by Our Lord, both said in regard to meditation:

From the Sermon on the Mount: “The light of thy body is thy eye. If thy eye be single, they whole body will be filled with light.”(Matthew 6:22). And: “Neither shall they say: Behold here, or behold there. For the Kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke17:21).

Yes, the Kingdom of God is within us.

We began to read St. Bonaventure’s slim volume The Mind’s Journey to God in meditation class last night, beginning with Chapter One. (Franciscan Herald Press; 1979; translated by Lawrence S. Cunningham.) We only made it down to the bottom of the first page.

St. Bonaventure began: “Beatitude is nothing else but the enjoyment of the highest good, but the Highest Good is above us, so nobody reaches beatitude unless he reaches beyond himself, not in the body, but in the heart.”... “No matter how desirous we are of ascent, nothing will come of it without divine aid. This divine aid comes to those who beg for it with a humble and devout heart; we must sigh for it in this valley of tears with unceasing prayer.” These three sentences took up most of class.

We decided that “beatitude” here meant seeing God. Enlightenment. Trudy mentioned the Sermon on the Mount, the beatitudes, and we discussed that it was the pure of heart who would see God. I asked about the phrase: “not in the body, but in the heart” & M. said that we must transcend the physical body and material world, connect with the soul if we wish to achieve beatitude. We began by saying that the spiritual Heart was where God met the soul in us. I added that the spiritual Heart was also where the soul was given its perceptions of the world, in rudimentary form, in the form of Divine images & ideas.

This led to a lengthy discussion on the soul: the meaning of the seat of the soul, the lower part of the soul, the higher part of the soul; where did Meister Ekhart’s divine spark reside; was the higher part of the soul still individuated, or were we one with God in the higher part of the soul; where was the spiritual Heart in relation to the soul - and so on. We brought down the many-paged Catholic Encyclopedia, but none of these topics were covered under “soul”.

In this valley of tears, we took to mean our life on earth; this phrase is found in the Hail Holy Queen prayer to Our Lady: “Hail Holy Queen, Mother of Mercy, our life our sweetness and our hope. To Thee so we cry. To thee do we set up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears ...”.

We then examined the words: with a humble and devout heart. I asked why Graces would be given to us if we had a humble and devout heart. We agreed that only if the ego were out of the way, could one see, connect with the soul and the Divine. Otherwise the ego, our own thoughts and emotions and perceptions - will block that connection. I added that the heart itself can block it. A heart closed by lack of faith, or anger could block our connection with God. Our thoughts do not just reside in the mind, they also reside in the heart. To have true communion with the Divine, our Hearts must be open; this is one of the main goals of meditation.

I then asked how we can open our hearts: by meditation, deep prayer, mindfulness, remembrance of the Divine. Grief can open the heart: Blessed are those who mourn. We spoke about the expression “a broken heart”, “my heart is breaking”; that if we could mourn without rancor, bitterness or anger - the heart could break open. If we are sad and we close our hearts, then we are in for a very painful experience ... We further discussed what could close the spiritual Heart: indifference, tepidity; judgement, self-righteousness; fear, anger, bitterness; the negative emotions in general.

I then asked who in class had ever felt their Heart open; if anyone in class could sometimes feel the love pouring out, a burning heat in the area of the heart. Trudy said that she had never thought about it, but now that we were speaking about it - yes, she had felt it sometimes happen spontaneously. I asked when, and she answered “often”: with people, students, music, ideas. She also said that the flow could be two ways, both in from others and outward towards others. She did not feel a burning, but she did feel her heart open. She added that it felt like a flower opening its petals. Almost everyone else in class said that they had experienced it. I then said that the experience was not given to all.

This divine aid comes ... I added that this opening of the Heart was the Divine aid that St. Bonaventure spoke of, not the answer to prayers for health or fame or fortune. That these graces were given to us to help us on the spiritual path. That the true Grace was the opening of the Mind and of the Heart; the mind to higher Consciousness and the heart to Divine Love. That we cannot produce this Higher Love, but if our own small hearts are open the Higher Love can pour through us to others. We then spoke about how we can open the heart: by meditation and deep prayer. By intention: to those who beg for it. When we meditate, we should always first ask for Divine guidance and graces, for help on our spiritual quest, and from the depths of our hearts.

We must sigh for it in this valley of tears with unceasing prayer. We then discussed St. Bonaventure’s words: unceasing prayer. This could mean our constant remembrance of the Divine, our unceasing awareness of God. I added the practice of inwardly (or vocally) repeating a short prayer throughout the day; for instance the prayer given to Sister Lucia at Fatima: “Jesus and Mary I love you, save souls.” Or “Eternal Father, have mercy on us”, or just the sacred Name of Jesus, repeated inwardly. In the convent or monastery, the religious and the saints have used this practice, repeating the same short prayer up to 800 or 900 times each day. I mentioned that I often do this practice while walking to and from town, generally with the Hail Mary prayer. Often, on my return home, if I go into the gardens to work, the prayer continues in my heart, the words of the prayer continue on their own. In other words, the words of the prayer I have been saying will verbally continue in the spiritual Heart, and if I look there I can hear them. Nate asked if it was like getting a song stuck in your head; I answered, yes. It is like having a prayer stuck in your heart. The prayer goes on, without our conscious help. From time to time I will be aware of it, as I quietly work. This does not last indefinitely; then I must say the prayer again, to get it again started in the Heart. Trudy said that she had had the same experience, and that it does not happen if she then interacts with other people. It only happens when she is alone. I agreed; it is more difficult when we then use words other than the prayer, for it to remain unceasing. But this is not impossible; it just takes more practice. I then said that if one tries this practice, stay with the same prayer throughout the day - do not switch from prayer to prayer.

The same is true of meditation. Eventually, we should be able to meditate while we do our work, while we speak with others - it becomes a constant state of being. That I am meditating when I teach class, as I type these words, as I work in the gardens. Meditation is not just an hour of our day - just as going to Mass on Sundays is not just an hour of our lives. We should bring those experiences with us always. They should be our true Lives, our minds and hearts should dwell there always. We should always be kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament, no matter where we are or what we are doing in our lives; just as I kneel for hours in the gardens with the flowers each day.

We also agreed that to attain mystical union, prayer and the Divine must be primary in our lives. Our hearts and minds must be filled with God. This is the true aim of meditation: the constant, abiding awareness of God. If we had this constant awareness of the Divine, we would see God everywhere and in all things, in every person and form given to us in this vast universe.

Saint Bonaventure then quotes from Psalm 85:11: Lead me, My Lord, in thy way that I may walk in thy truth .... This began a discussion the word “Truth”, a question that has existed in human minds and thinking throughout the ages. We readily agreed that truth here meant Ultimate Truth - that the material universe was not Ultimate Reality and that we are not the body but the soul. That on the spiritual path, we are walking God’s Truth. At least, once we have attained the goal. Meanwhile, we can have Glimpses of Truth, an awareness of it. Even if we cannot as yet experience It directly.

We also agreed that thinking that we knew Truth could be dangerous. This brought us to the importance of living a Code of being while on the spiritual path. This led to a discussion of long and short path practices. The danger and also the necessity of the short path: i.e. identifying with the soul instead of the body and personality; focusing on the Presence of God within and without us. Meditation. The danger of the Long Path being that if we follow rules and make sacrifices only, rely only on our various outward spiritual practices - we could get stuck in the ego. The ego could tell us that we are good because we follow rules and make sacrifices for God. However, if we follow only the short path, and too soon in our spiritual development - we could also fall back into the ego (I am God) or think that we know truth and the Will of God, when we do not. We could fall back into ethical error and/or Ignorance of Truth. Therefore, it was important to hover between both paths, in order to avoid error.

To regress a bit: Now that I think about it - often, when I am in the garden clipping a plant or putting it in the earth - if my hand comes between my heart and the flower, the heat pouring from my heart is warmer than the hot summer air ... a blast of heat ... I asked the question in class because I was curious to know if the sensation of the heart being open was somehow connected to my clairvoyance - or if nonclairvoyants would also have the experience. To be truthful, I was surprised that so many of the meditators were aware of the spiritual Heart being open or closed.


Friday, September 16
11:30 p.m.

E-mails: more miracles of Healing. A broken foot; head injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident ...

An evening with Sarah & Chris. I told them of the strong fragrance of roses & myrrh I had experienced in the gardens, the presence of Our Lady ... Chris asked if it was the presence of saints, and if there was a reason that we had all experienced the supernatural fragrances when in each other’s presence. I said that the Desert Fathers had called such fragrances “the prayers of the saints”, and that Padre Pio (now Saint Pio) had exuded perfume while still on earth - many had experienced this while in his presence, or even over vast distances. But Sarah & I both agreed that the overpowering fragrance of roses or myrrh was the presence of Our Lady. Sarah said that our history of friendship, the closeness of our relationships, our shared love for the spiritual and our devotion to the spiritual path most likely were all factors. It was a blessing. She also said that in the past, all the times she had been aware of the fragrance of roses were after she & I had spent time together, or meditated at the Church together - and that it was because we were both so devoted to Mary. I had to agree. Chris added that when we were all together, probably our combined devotion increased the chances of supernatural events occurring. I had to agree with this as well. The fragrances began in meditation classes, and most of my other experiences were either alone or with M. And now also with Chris and Sarah.

I said that it was interesting that we were on different spiritual paths, and yet we all shared the experience of the supernatural fragrances. Chris had been aware of the fragrance of frankincense, at Windgarth some days ago. Chris added that he recognized the scent because he was fond of frankincense, and in the past had burned it as incense. He then quoted from the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna’s statement: “All spiritual work is an offering to me, no matter what name it is offered in.” Then he added: “all offerings, all prayers end upon the same altar.” I said, “Yes, no matter what religion” & Chris added “Yes, even if the person is an agnostic or even an atheist. The desire for Good is still an offering.” I said that I agreed. As long as an offering was made.

I then told him that Our Lady in Medjugorje, Yugoslavia had told the visionaries there that we should all lead a simple, kind life - and pick a spiritual path and do our best on it. That there was only one God, and that the divisions into the various religions on earth were man made. That all religions should be respected. She had also told them that some of the best Christians - were not Christian. And that as Christians, we should respect all religions.

Chris & I then discussed the seven states of consciousness in the Indian Vedantic system of philosophy. Later, when we have read more of St. Bonaventure’s work, it will be interesting to compare them to his framework.
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